I spent five minutes searching for it while sitting in my chair and looking down at my feet. "There is no way that paper clip could've gotten away from here," I thought. Then, I rolled my chair back about 3 feet, looked from a different angle, and there it was, in plain sight. This experience is similar to my approach to John's story about Jesus. I've tried to zoom in, zoom out, and look at it from different angles. When I do, a new idea often appears - in plain sight.

I wanted to share two personal experiences before we delve back into John's Gospel. A friend who reads the blog recently commented on how the content has evolved. Initially, it focused more on grief, but now it is less about grief and more about life. She viewed this change as a sign of growth, and I agree.

No one does not belong at the table. As Harry Bosch says, “Everybody counts or nobody counts.” That’s not just my idea. It’s how God shows up in the universe. It's also how we work through our insecurities when someone or some situation pushes our "do not belong here" button. We choose to see ourselves as God sees us, as one who is welcome at the table. Not only that, we see everyone in the same light.

I must admit that there have been some confusing days when I write about peace and joy in the morning, but then I live anxiously through the remainder of the day - times when I “talk the talk” but don't “walk the walk.” However, isn't that a part of the growth process? For example, when it comes to weight training, you push your muscles to the point of exhaustion, allow them to rest, and then do it again. Failure is built into the process because you must push yourself to the point of failure each day to see incremental improvement over time. So, what appears to be hypocrisy to the rowdy spectator in the stands of my mind is improvement and transformation.

The energy is not in me but in the active relationship between the creator and me, in the dance itself. In my daily life, God is the music, my dance partner, and the sense of rhythm within me. The universe's energy is apparent only as I join the dance, allowing it to flow to me and through me. The internal signs of being “in step” with the music and my partner are peace and joy; the external signs are acts of grace and love.

Interestingly, the man did not obey Jesus because he recognized him as the Messiah and believed Jesus was the Christ. He “did not know who it was.” No repentance was required, no rules to follow, and no verses to memorize. Just act. Wow! That rocked my religion.

The same idea applies to both you and me. The system is already in place, and the code is already written within us. The laws of the universe are working in our favor, helping us to become the best version of our unique selves. There is no opposing force, only distractions and false beliefs that we pick up along the way.

If I had the chance to talk to my 14-year-old self, what advice would I give? I would say: read! Read the classics and poetry. Linger, and let the language move you. Also, listen to great music and let it stir something within you. Again, linger and listen, not with your head and/or hormones, but with your heart. Allow them to awaken and expand your soul.

Joseph Campbell put it in the form of practical advice in a conversation with Bill Moyers. “Sacred space is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.”

What would I say to a future great-grandson or daughter about their identity? “Don’t let us hold you back!” While you may have our eyes, smile, sense of humor, or love of fried chicken, don't let the inherited traits of your ancestors be your total identity. Go inside, in silence, until you discover that you are a child of the Creator, then allow his energy to flow to and through your physical traits. Become the eternal you that you were intended to be. That, my child, is our life's work.

How do you fight this feeling? Like Jacob, Achilles, and Menelaus, do you wrestle with God? Or, like Jesus, do you duel with the devil for 40 days and nights in the wilderness? Or, like Mary and John, do you turn, head down, and head home, one step at a time, to finish Friday, then suffer through Saturday, one breath at a time, with no sight of Sunday in the forecast? Perhaps you do all of the above - or none of the above.

Brendon Burchard wrote in the Motivation Manifesto, "The sunshine of enlightenment spreads to those who understand that the moments of our lives must not go unnoticed and unlived.” He continued, “We mustn’t avoid this day's reality or wish for a better one.”

It was as if I had rounded the corner and come face-to-face with my insignificance, stepping out of a vibrant career with some level of importance into a realm of irrelevance. To those I met, it was as if I wore a label that said “RETIRED,” which translated as “non-essential.”

“Experience will transform your life; understanding comes in only if you want to help others transform their lives.” "That's it," I said as the sun began to lighten the sky through the barren pecan trees out my office window. This drive to understand does not come from the unholy desire to control but a most holy desire to help others experience transformation.

This “mindset + practice” reinforces the mindset and produces an evidence-based faith that builds on itself. My progress can even be measured by simply monitoring the "peace and joy" I experience daily. Am I "in the flow,” receiving from my Creator and acting accordingly? Remember, it’s to me and through me. Am I "trusting the process" or "leaning on my own understanding?” Is my new mindset in Motion?

Let me “think out loud” for a minute and share with you what I'm thinking, but first, I have to put on the correct thinking cap. Not the snug one that says "either–or" but the larger thinking cap that says “both-and.” The two understandings need not be mutually exclusive.

Let's start today with a random question.

On August 21, 2022, I wrote the following in my notebook: "What if I were born 500 years ago? What parts of me would still be me? Strip away time and place and see what's left.” When you have a minute, sit with this question and let it bother you for a while. Do it over and over, and you'll like what you find.

In 1997, my company sent our newly merged management team on an Outward Bound weekend in the forest and hills of Western North Carolina. We were all looking forward to it, imagining days of light hiking and nights of sitting around the campfire, smoking cigars, drinking red whiskey, and eating steaks that someone would cook for us. Instead, we had days full of hiking, rock climbing, repelling, ropes courses, and nights with lanterns, creek water, and dehydrated foods.

It helps that I am sitting in the studio, and the sun is shining through the window on my face. It reminds me that the same energy within that sun is within my body. It's also within the trees that I see and the plants growing in my garden. Each of these components of the universe, including me, has an operating system within it. However, unlike the others, I can choose to operate by this system or usurp it with my own free will.

Nicodemus took action to address his confusion, and I should, too. Research, read, question, listen, and contemplate. Become comfortable in the confusion, or as Brene’ Brown says, “Always straddling the tension and trying not to tap out. Forever convincing ourselves that we can hold so many contradictory pieces and feelings. Not only are tension and contradictory pieces OK and normal — they're the magic sauce.”